Help! I'm stuck in North Jersey and I can't get out!

[Badfish740]

I'm convinced that North Jerseyans are boiling over with pent up rage at this point. I mean I guess it's understandable when you consider they spend 75% of their lives stuck in traffic and the other 25% smelling whatever awful odors come out of Elizabeth, but when it spills over onto me I get a little annoyed.

For those of you who don't know I work at an ice rink in beautiful Wayne, New Jersey in order to pay the bills and keep myself in school. I'm a Zamboni driver which basically means I do everything from maintain the ice to clean to fix things to whatever...One of my jobs is to check locker rooms after games to make sure that they are left relatively clean and there has been no vandalism. What we do to ensure this is standard operating procedure at pretty much every rink in New Jersey and beyond. In order to gain access to a locker room one needs a key. In order to get a key you must surrender a set of car keys which we keep in a secure location until the end of the game/practice. This ensures that A: you give us our key back, and B: you don't leave until we make sure that the room is clean and undamaged. Unfortunately we as well as a lot of rinks have a huge problem with vandalism and general sloppiness. Never underestimate the power of 20 unsupervised 12 year old boys in a locker room. Balls of tape plugging the toilets, broken mirrors, crushed garbage cans, defecating in the shower-I've seen it all.

Anyway, today I got called over the radio to check a room. Apparently the guy had been waiting and getting impatient and there wasn't anything I could do, I was already busy and I promised the receptionist over the radio I'd get there ASAP. I got into the room and there was coffee spilled all over the floor, so I radioed her to tell him next time to just call us if there is a spill so that we can get someone in there to clean it right away. About 10 seconds after I uttered those words the locker room door flies open and a guy about
6' 3" (kinda big to me, I'm only about 5' 10"/200lbs) who looks a lot like John Corzine oddly enough, comes up and gives me one of those "body check" kinda shoves where you just bump up against the person without putting your hands on them. He then procedes to tell me that he doesn't have to clean up the f---ing locker room because that's my f---ing job. First I simply forcefully told him NOT to touch me and backed away. For every one step I took back he took two forward until I finally hollered him to back the f--- up and he tells me to watch my mouth. I guess since I'm only 24 and looked about in his mid 40s I'm not allowed to curse around him. So basically this continues and I even attempt to sidestep him to get out of there-he blocks me.

I decided at that point if he backed me into a corner I was going to go through him rather than around. Again, I'm not a big guy, but I was a wrestler in high school, and not a bad one so I can handle myself if I need to. I eventually raised my hands a little as if I was getting ready to defend myself and he backed off a bit and I quickly walked around him, told him he was an f---ing psycho and walked out. My boss eventually got him calmed down (after guy demanded I be fired) and explained to him that I didn't expect him to CLEAN the locker room, just NOTIFY me if something of that nature happens. I didn't wait around for an apology.

What really aggravates me is the circumstances...this was over a stinkin locker room!!! The way this guy was coming at me you might have thought I had just told him I was sleeping with his wife! I dunno, I know there are crazy people everywhere, but it seems like there's a severe concentration of them up here. Anyway, I'm curious-what does everyone think of this little case of "locker room rage?" Are the rink's policies too oppressive? Was I too standoffish? Was this guy really Corzine and just sore about all those nasty things Forrester said about him?

I think my sig says it all...

 

[bobpbx]

Sue that big a-hole. Nobody has the right to treat other people like that. I hope he chokes on tonites dinner.

 

[Gerania]

That guy stepped way over the line when he touched you. He was at a place of business, he was a patron and you are an employee just to put things in perspective. You merely approached him to remedy a situation, without verbal provocation. He was wrong. Even if you had been rude and unhelpful, he should not have touched you.

As for your behavior? You really didn't help matters. I know, I know, you're only 24 and they didn't put you through PR classes before turning you loose on the public and you'd probably not been confronted with a situation quite like that before. It's hard to be the voice of reason in that situation. I might have suggested (while backing up) saying, THEY-SENT-ME-TO-HELP-YOU. DO-YOU-WANT-MY-HELP!? Repeat as often as necessary. Live and learn. Throwing fuel on a fire rarely helps.

On the other hand, if you'd shouted, in the nicest possible way, over his verbal abuse and tried to convey the fact that that you were there to make things better and he still wouldn't shut up or back off, you just have to do something to get their attention.

If the guy is 2 steps away and you think he's going to rearrange your face, all bets are off. You have to take it case by case. Some people really are just taking out all of life's frustrations on you because they (think they) can. Some people are just nuts. Those people are really scary.

Gerania

 

[dragoncjo]

I feel your pain, I spent my first two years of college at Rutgers New Brunswick people from N. Jersey think that the world revolves around them. They are the most impatient, obnoxious meat heads I've ever met. They lack any sense of humor and are the most superficial people in the world. If anyone ever wants to go to war against the north I'm ready to go. North Jerseyians give Jersey such a bad name they all belong in NYC.

 

[woodjin]

This guy clearly has some serious anger management issues. The fact that he body checked you the second he got in the room should have gotten him fired. As for size vs intimidation: remember the words of wisdom from Dee on "Whats Happening": "I ain't afraid of anybody who can't run as fast as I can"!

Jeff

 

[Teegate]

It is kinda nice that you thought enough about this group to ask us our opinion on it. That has not happened before I don't think.

Anyway, I am really never sure the right approach since you never know what is in their pocket. Gerania's suggestion appears it will work well with someone half sane, but if they are not you might not find the correct avenue of escape.

If your boss gets mad at you tell him to write us and we will straighten things out. Then again you won't have a job after that, but at least the people you seem to respect will have their say

Keep that zamboni moving, and think of the pines while doing it.

Guy

 

[uuglypher]

I'm convinced that North Jerseyans are boiling over with pent up rage at this point. I mean I guess it's understandable when you consider they spend 75% of their lives stuck in traffic and the other 25% smelling whatever awful odors come out of Elizabeth, but when it spills over onto me I get a little annoyed.

Another geographic perspective:

I've long thought that NJ would best be considered to exist as three distinct regions, to wit:

South Jersey,
North Jersey, and
Jersey's Perineum ( otherwise known as Jersey's " 'Taint")

The limits of the last-named region generally and loosly define the south-eastern and north-western limits , respectively, of North Jersey and South Jersey .

Jersey's perineum is that swatch of befouled land forming a corridor between the Paterson-Hackensack-Passaic-Clifton-NY-Newark-Elizabeth complex ... and Trenton. It gradually becomes (in my memory) progressively less foul as one progresses its length in a south-westerly direction ... but then there's Trenton... Ah well, no paradigm's perfect...

Anyway, to conflate the 'Taint of NJ with the region north and west of it is to do a disservice to some beautiful country and some generally decent people. Howdja feel if the folk from bucolic north Jersey started callin' that foul perineal swatch "South Jersey", thereby lumping it with and totally ignoring the collective charms of the raison detre of this website?

Yeah; I know that a lot of NW jersey has become more "suburban" bedroom-community-ish since my youth, (so have many areas in South Jersey) but hiking the A.T. along the crest of Kittatiny Mtn, trout fishing the Muskonetcong, herping at a rattler-copperhead morning den on a nearby mountain (probably ought not to name it) all come to mind when I hear "North Jersey". There's still gotta be some lovely country and fine folk up there.

Dave (just tryin' t'paint with not such a broad brush...)

 

[NewSchoolPiney]

All,

Yeah, North Jersey (and by North Jersey I mean 'Northeast Jersey') is responsible for giving our state the terrible stereotypes we have to deal on a day-to-day basis ('NJ is the Garden State? You're kidding me!'; 'Dirty Jersey'; etc . . .) as we know it today. While at TCNJ in Trenton, I found that I never made good friends with anyone from Northeast Jersey, but plenty of friends from Northwest and South Jersey.

Can we seriously just give that entire section up there to NY? I'm sure they wouldn't mind, they already have the NYC sports teams there. Most of them talk like they're from NYC and most of them plan their life around moving to NYC like it's the mecca of the United States (and obviously, the world -> aka "The City").

We in South Jersey, I believe, comprise more of a cultural difference from PA and NY so as to call us the 'real New Jersey' compared to Northwest that is more like PA and Northeast which is obviously NYC part 2. It just makes too much sense to split up the state and give us the name.

Peace,

Justin

 

[dragoncjo]

You guys do have a point the northwest side is very nice. In fact the first time I went up to stokes I swore I wasn't in new jersey, felt more like I was up at blue mountain ski area. I just always find it funny how two areas in such a small state can be so drastically different(when it comes to how people act). I know when I was in college people thought anyone from s. jersey lived on a farm and was a hillbilly(I wish i lived on a farm, unfortunately my neighbors are within a stones throw). They would constantly ask me to say "home" and laughed afterwards, and repremand me when I refered to philadelphia as "the city". I agree, give northeast nj to new york thats were those people think they live anyway.

 

[Badfish740]

It is kinda nice that you thought enough about this group to ask us our opinion on it. That has not happened before I don't think.

Well, honestly I feel like this is the only place I can chat with "my people" sometimes... While we all share a common interest in the Pinelands, we also seem to basically be of the same sort of personality/mindset-far removed from whatever the personality of a North*east* Jerseyan is-thank you ugglypher I mean, its not like I can go out and have a beer with someone once a week and talk about sand roads, scrub pines, and iron towns without getting a confused look! My girlfriend jokingly dubbed this site my "online therapy for South Jersey withdrawl," I guess she doesn't realize how right she is.

So in other news my boss told me that whoever this guy is (all we know right now is he's the father of a player on a pee wee hockey team which shall remain unnamed) he's banned from the rink, which is good enough for me. We're in the process of contacting the coach of the team to find out who he is and inform him (nicely) that he is now persona non grata. This guy is the kind of psycho that gives youth hockey a bad name, like the guy that killed that other father out in Michigan a few years ago.

While at TCNJ in Trenton, I found that I never made good friends with anyone from Northeast Jersey, but plenty of friends from Northwest and South Jersey.

Yeah; I know that a lot of NW jersey has become more "suburban" bedroom-community-ish since my youth...There's still gotta be some lovely country and fine folk up there.

NewSchoolPiney and uuglypher have bascially summed it up. Caldwell College is 65% percent female (went co-ed in '87) and I would say 80% of those girls are from the immediate area (Essex, Bergen, Morris, and Hudson Counties) so the one girl that I ended up picking? You guessed it, born and raised in Sussex County! I knew it was meant to be when I threw a party at my apartment at the beginning of last fall semester. One of my roommates (also from South Jersey) was messing around with the music and threw "Friends in Low Places" into the playlist. When it came on I heard "I love this song!" coming from a cute redhead who had come with a friend of a friend amid the "ewws" and the rolling eyes. It's been 16 months so far, so I guess that goes to show that we can't paint North Jersey with that broad of a brush.

Sussex is nice, but at least the eastern part of the county has become the poor man's (poor is extremely relative here) Connecticut if you have enough money and you're willing to bear the excruciating commute on 80 East into NYC every morning. However, the Sussex County farm and livestock show is still one of the best in the state, the John Deere dealership and the Agway are still the biggest things around (Except for the new Home Cheapo), the schools still close for the first day of deer season, and it really is beautiful up there. Not cedar-swamp-on-a-brisk-winter-morning-beautiful, but beautiful just the same.

Anyway, that's my rant, and I'm glad to see so many took an interest. It sounds corny, but I feel like when I'm on here I might as well be talking to one of my friends from home.

P.S. In hindsight I should have ended my little confrontation with Mr. A-hole like this-"I'm from South Jersey-me and the Jersey Devil, we're like this (while pressing pointer finger and thumb together)"

 

[long-a-coming]

Damn, I wouldn't of voted for Corzine if I knew he was such a jerk!!!!

I should of voted for Forrester!, but I just can't vote Republican!
What's "Forrester's" position on development in the Pinelands?

Anyone ever see the "Sopranos" where the take the Russian guy "down the pine barrens" to bury him. they didn't want to spend the money to travel south so they filmed it in the Palisades. You see mountains in the backdrop and there's no pine trees anywhere.

 

[Badfish740]

I never saw that episode but I'm a big fan of the show. You would think that since they usually strive to be so authentic they would have actually taken the time to go down there. Of course maybe negative press is something the Pinelands don't need. If I mention the Pinelands in conversation to anyone up here these are the top 5 responses:

"Doesn't the mob bury bodies there?"

"Aren't you afraid of the Pineys?"

"So THAT'S what all those trees are on the way to the shore!"

"Highway five-thirty-what?"

And the number one response...

"The Pinelands? Where the heck is that?"

 

[Ben Ruset]

Sounds a lot like Manhattan. You should see what the subway trains are like during rush hour. Awful.

 

[uuglypher]

"online therapy for South Jersey withdrawl,"

I love it !
Very well-put !

My wife, a native Oklahoman, said "I don't know what goes on at that website, but you sure seem the better for it!" (Makes me kinda wonder what I was like BEFORE I found www.njpinebarrens,com ... ??? ... and if, at long last, she's finally glad she married me ... or just even more ecstatic that she did ...???)

Dave

 

[uuglypher]

You can take the kid out of the pines, but ...

This thread reminds me of an episode I can't remember if I've recounted to you. If I have, chalk it up to a fading short-term memory and just move on ...

Sometime in the late 70s or early 80s I was giving a talk on birds-of-prey in Portland to the Oregon Audubon Society. A little way into the presentation I showed some slides my father (who was a great photographer) had taken of nesting osprey during a canoe trip we had taken some years before down the Wading River. At this point an elderly woman near the back of the auditorium stood up and began gesticulating and shoutig. At first I thought she was mental and off her meds, but quickly began to hear what she was saying; the gist was:

"Look! See? That's gotta be South Jersey! See? Pines and oaks! Wildness! (I distinctly recall she said "wildness" , not "wilderness") See? I haven't been lying to you! (she's crying at this point) Raptors! Beautiful woods! See? See? It's like I've told you. God, I miss it... Just look ... Oh thank you, thank you for these pictures..."

Well, needless to say, that fine lady and I sat next to each other at the meeting's banquet that evening and she regaled me with tales of her growing-up years in the 20s and early 30s in Tuckerton and New Gretna. She knew the editor of the Toms River newspaper for whom my dad had worked. She and her husband moved west just before the war. She admitted to being a "town girl", but that she spent a lot of time with her grandparents and an uncle and aunt who were "pineys". While listening to her tales I swear that I could smell that faint vanilla-ish fragrence that weaves among the stronger fragrent volatile oils of the pines on a hot, still, humid August afternoon.

Damn! She would have loved this website (had there been such a thing at that time).

Sorry, this was longer than I intended, but it seemed appropriate to throw in here.

Dave

 

[Badfish740]

Update: My faith in humanity is renewed. I got a sincere apology and a handshake from the guy today at work. We both admitted being a little too "fired up" that day-easy to do in a stressful world I guess.



I'll drink to that!

 

[Teegate]

Very nice! It appears it has all worked out. You got what your wanted, and we were able to tag along. A happy ending made for a movie. Thanks!

Guy

 

[BEHR655]

Update: My faith in humanity is renewed. I got a sincere apology and a handshake from the guy today at work.

That's good. Now I hope he doesn't find that big turd you left in his locker.

Steve