Roadkill on a Bun
Almost five decades ago, as a young undergraduate student, I used to hitch a ride to the college on some mornings with my comparative anatomy professor. He was a very colorful person, with a sharp wit and Eddie Cantor--like "pop eyes," due to Graves disease.
One morning, on our way to his 8 AM lecture, he spied a dead possum on the road. He screeched to a halt, lept out of the car --- the motor running --- and began to furiously dissect the road kill. While he was busy at work, a Florham Park policeman happened by. He stopped, sauntered over to the professor and asked him just what he thought he was doing. The professor, a somewhat diminutive fellow with a deep basso voice, straightened--up to his full height and said, "I'm just getting my breakfast, sir!" The cop turned about three various shades of green, literally ran back to his "black--and--white," and sped off in the direction of Columbia Turnpike. The professor continued his disection for a few minutes more, and then I saw him surrepitiously "pocket" something. On the way to class, neither of us spoke a word...
When we arrived at the lecture hall, the professor announced that he had changed the subject of his lecture for that day. He told the class that his lecture would be on heterotrophic bones. After discussing the adlacrimal bone in the eyelid of alligators, the pisiform bone, and a few other oddities, he related that, "...on the way to class, this morning, I stopped on the road to pick--up a dead possum that I planned to have for breakfast... Some students, looking a little pale, quickly headed for the door. The professor reached into his pocket, and produced a curiously shaped bone. "This is a bacculum!" he said in a loud voice. Whenever I eat possum, I always make sure I get this bone, because it's mighty handy to pick your teeth with. In fact, he stated, many "southern boys" carry these on their key rings just for that purpose. Then he related a rather ribald story about an ex--commissioner of baseball, who offered his bacculum to a lady from New York...
The professor, with tears streaming down his cheeks, and laughing uncontrollably abruptly ended the lecture as he stormed out the door.
We students were totally flabbergasted, and mightily puzzled by his actions --- and we had no clue as to just what a 'bacculum' was. Hurriedly thumbing through our textbooks, we finally got the "message"...
As long as I live, I shall never forget the look on that cop's face, as the professor told him that possum road kill is best with fried eggs!
Philly cheesesteaks, indeed... Go for a true "Piney Delight:" possum stew with a bacculum! ("Roadkill on a Bun"):rofl:
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